Ever hear the phrase, “It’s like drinking from a firehose?” That’s how I like to think about being a parent. Except, I would adjust the phrase to include, “It’s like drinking from a firehose, and your kids are in charge of the hose.” Don’t get me wrong, us parents are still in control. Or at least we would like to think we are. Some days, the hose is at a dribble; it’s calm, everyone is dry. Other days, it’s full blast; everything is chaotic, and you’re about to drown.
Then, there is this happy medium, this beautiful space in between that makes it all worth it.
It’s that part of parenting that is exciting and challenging, yet manageable. The parenting bead is all kinds of funky looking. It’s bright in some spots, dull in others. There might be a few chips here and there, but overall, it is a prominent bead on the necklace. One that is with you for life and will always be near and dear to your heart.
I am the proud mama to two crazy red-headed boys, Tyler who is 4, and Logan who is 1. They are both excellent at managing their own personal firehoses and each come with their own quirks and personalities. One was my dream sleeper from 2 months old; the other gave us a run for our money until month 6. One is a snuggle bug, the other would like his own space across the room. One came into our lives via one round of fertility meds, the other, the painstaking route of IVF. Each of my boys bring me equal amounts of joy and frustration I honestly never thought I could experience in my life. I learn something from them every single day, and truly can’t imagine life without them.
When people hear I am the mom to two boys, it’s as if I have suddenly turned into Xena the Princess Warrior. TWO BOYS? Wow! That must be insane! Yes, yes it is. I am always on the lookout for flying objects that shouldn’t be in the air, trying not to lose my shit but half the time losing it anyway, cleaning pee off toilet seats 18 times a day, and making sure I have enough food to feed my teenage toddlers. I also love doing crafts with my oldest, cozying up under the pillow fort to watch movies, being a shoulder to cry on, and opening my arms for big bear hugs.
The insanity versus the calm and all the spaces in between – dance parties in the kitchen, soccer games, music class, and the list goes on. That is what raising our kiddos is all about. Taking the bad and the crazy with the good and the calm. There are days where my husband and I look at each other and wonder how we are going to get through the day. When Logan has teeth coming in and literally won’t stop shrieking. When Tyler decides to assert his wise 4-year-old opinions on literally anything and everything. It’s exhausting and you end the day feeling like a shell of your former self. But then there are days where my husband and I will look at each other at the end of the day and smile because we enjoyed ourselves so much. We didn’t just survive the day. We lived it.
This whole parenting thing is not for the faint of heart. It is a rollercoaster of happiness, fear, worry, the unknown, sadness, guilt, and so much more. And it is ok not to love it all the time. We all do our best every single day. We hope we are doing the right thing, making the right choice, raising good kids. And that’s all we can do.
To all of my fellow parents out there, you are crushing it. To all of the parents to be, parents hoping to be, and parents of those no longer with us, you are crushing it. The parenting bead is a special and complex one. Cherish it, protect it, polish it, share it. We are all in this together.